My Last Goodbye to Dolce

Warning: Personal post coming right up!

Now that I’ve shared about the deadly Canine Distemper disease (you can read more about it on my PREVIOUS POST), this is probably the hardest part. I’ve been attempting to do this post, but I couldn’t stop crying as I write my first sentence. Honestly, when Dolce was on his way to recovery from Spinal Tap, I was looking forward to write a post on how Dolce survived Distemper. I was excited for that exhilarating feeling knowing my baby survived and I couldn’t wait to share it to everyone. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. I had to write about Dolce’s fight without him by my side.

I’ve had a number of dogs in the past, but I got most attached to Dolce – in just two months. Probably because I was so hands on and I seldom left his side. I had to skip work, events, meetings, and even special occasions just to be with him. Our family dinners were mostly held at home because I didn’t want to leave him. I forgot about my Friday and Saturday nights with friends because I knew Dolce needed me more.

I know God gave me Dolce for a reason. My friend asked me to choose from two puppies and I chose Dolce. I strongly believe that I was able to give him a good life and a chance to live. If he was given to someone who loses hope easily, he might have lived a shorter life. In his two month stay with me, I know I was able to shower him with so much love and care. My family and I was able to give him the love that baby Dolce deserves. And I must say, in two months, Dolce taught me so many things. I learned how to be more mature, to be more patient, and to put him on top of my list before anything else. In fact, whenever I’m in the mall, I shopped for his things instead of looking for stuff for myself. He was really the baby of the family. It may sound very dramatic, but I did so many things I’ve never done or I’ve never thought I’m capable of. He taught me how to love selflessly.

To my dear baby Dolce, thank you so much for trying and fighting so hard. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to detect your disease early on. For the short time you’ve been with us, you brought so much joy to me and my family. It’s sad I wasn’t able to say my last goodbye. You chose to rest while I was away. Maybe you knew me too well. You knew I would panic if I was around when you didn’t want to eat. You knew I would break down if you finally said goodbye.

I can still remember the feeling when I first held you in my arms. I picked you up at your mom’s house and you were so excited – and a bit scared. You found comfort in my arms that the whole time we were inside the car on our way to your new home, you were on my lap looking at me.

On your first night at home, look where I saw you…

You were on top of my bag. I figured you wanted to sleep on something soft so I decided to share my bed with you. You woke me up around 7am and I was surprised you were on my pillow playing with my hair! Haha!

When you’re inside the car, this is what you loved to do (even when I’m the one driving)…

Oh, and I think you wanted to be a model! You liked being on my product shots!

You loved to be in between things when you sleep…

And you loved to snuggle and play when we’re together…

Oh baby, how can I forget you? How can I move on when I always remember your stares?

It has already been a week since you left but I still miss you everyday. I miss feeding and giving you medicines everyday. I miss looking for you whenever I get home. I miss calling the house just to check up on you. I miss your small cute voice whenever you want something. I miss carrying you around like a baby. I miss you lying on my bed. I miss waking up in the middle of the night to comfort you when you’re crying. I miss our sleepless nights together just so I could massage you until you fall asleep. I miss touching and brushing your soft hair. I miss your kisses whenever you see me. I miss the way you look up to me and stare at me. It has never been the same since you left. I still cry every single day. But I know you’re in a better place right now- free from all the pain. You can now play and run freely up there in doggie heaven. We love you so much. You will remain in our hearts and minds forever. Until we meet again.

P.S. This is the reason why I’ve been in hiatus here on the blog. I know, I need to be back. I promise, back to regular programing starting tomorrow.

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